Have you ever had a "I'm not like other girls" phase? A phase which you felt that you had different and special breed. This "rare" phenomenon can happen to anyone, include boys! Yes, I had, it was the cringiest phase ever in my life. To be fair, it occurred when I was in high school.  I would be jamming to metal music like Metallica, Guns n Roses and Deep Purple, and I felt I was "OMG I am so different!" compared to my friends as they would be listening to pop and rock kapak songs (Well, the table has turned now, sometimes I would listen to both now). I'm not sure if I want to write well-detailed about my cringiest phase ever in my life, but since I feel like only a few of my friends would read this, then okay.

When I was in my early-teen, I felt so separate from everyone that it was so difficult for me to comprehend their behavior as if they were speaking alien/bizarre language. Since I used to be #1 top student in my school,  I felt like I was better than everyone and I didn't even fit with my "normal" schoolmates since in my point of view, most of the boys and girls were seeking approval from each other or in short, "attention seeker". Not gonna lie, I pretended that I was the special nerd, I might be a nerd but I also like metal and games! Or I could say that my personality was "universal" or "Mr. Know Everything".  As I had been seeing as "the weirdo",  In fact, I noticed that a few of my schoolmates didn't like my "weird" personality since sometimes I would tell them that "euw pop is so mainstream", "I like black, I hate pink" and etc. In fact, I am pink enthusiast now, most of my clothes and hijab are pink. I was so influenced by gothic, edgy and dark culture before to the point that I would wear all-black and baggy clothes everytime I went out. I always stuck with t-shirts, jeans and sneakers (oh please blame "You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift" for this). It wasn't a desire to wear male clothes but I was keen to appear as "tough".

As I'm growing up, I realized that all of us are equal. Each of us has our own uniqueness. Thankfully, most of us grow out of it and I am grateful since I have profoundly altered the way I thinking.